Self-Empowerment: a Solo Journey

Although my passion has always been spirituality and the inner psyche, I have recently developed an interest in history and current socio-economic realities.

It is undeniable that we have a history of dominance and oppression, with just a few examples including the Zar empire, the Western colonisations, and modern billionaires’ capitalism.

Beneath the neat organisation of our numerous institutions and a veneer of civilised speech and conduct, we observe the workings of an instinct to predate and prevail, within the framework of power and greed, both in Western countries and autocratic-militarised societies.

The connection I observe between this historical dominance paradigm and self-empowerment lies with the drama triangle of the Victim, Perpetrator, and Rescuer. In each of these roles, what underpins the related dysfunctional behaviours is a lack of intrinsic Self-worth and the need to seek validation and appreciation from outside ourselves.

It appears to be a common belief that without power and money, we lack intrinsic value. I have experienced this in my life, yet the true sense of freedom and sovereignty has always originated from within me.

In reality, greed and lust for power are more like addictions, as there is never enough, whilst depression can become a compulsive behaviour, due to chronic worthlessness.

The inflated egos of the perpetrators need to prove themselves with arrogance, the overpowering of authority, and varying degrees of aggressive and competitive behaviour, often harming people, organisations, and the environment.

On the other hand, the deflated egos of victims cause a disowning of personal power in favour of external sources (family, lovers, teachers, mentors, managers). Out of poor self-esteem, victims also tend to blame themselves, sinking into further hopelessness and inaction.

The dance continues with rescuers, sometimes narcissists and sometimes victims, who use their philanthropy to appear and feel good, or for atonement, their offers of advice and help often contributing to more helplessness in others.

There is so much suffering in the ancient replay of this triangle of power, on all sides of the coin, and yet we are awakening slowly to a solution: the realisation that the Soul and Spirit are our true source of power and love.

This can be quite a solitary journey for some time, just like it was for me!

In the trade-off between love and authenticity, I chose early in life to please and comply, seeking love in return. The pattern continued into adulthood, driven by the need to meet external values and expectations. Until depression hit, as my personal power just stopped working, leaving me with no energy and no will. Furthermore, I felt disoriented, unable to make choices, my ego had cracked, but my Soul’s identity had yet to be revealed.

Surrendering to the Soul is a personal experience. When we step back from social games of control and withdrawal, we realise that in our sacred silence within, we can learn to trust ourselves again and connect to the world from a genuine place of strength and sovereignty.

Following, I summarised a few ideas that helped me to embody my Soul’s power.

1. Be ruthlessly honest. We live in an epidemic of egocentric, deceitful, or deluded minds, including ours! Each of us must take responsibility for seeking clarity, maintaining detachment, and observing reality as it truly is.

The first step in this direction is to be really honest with oneself. Ask yourself:

• Why do I behave in a certain way? What are my true intentions and motivations behind any relationship, conflict, or collaboration?

• Do the workings of my mind create self-attack and self-doubt?

• Are my reactions aggressive, controlling, or even abusive towards others?

• How can I impartially evaluate the reality of other people’s attitudes and actions, and of the external circumstances?

2. Stop suffering. When reality does not match our values and expectations, and we witness conflict, injustice, and pain, let’s choose to stand firm in our Soul’s presence, without stepping into the role of saving the world.

Lack of detachment and non-acceptance may lead to feeling emotionally overwhelmed, to reacting impulsively, or to frustration when things are not how we want them to be.

As a highly sensitive empath, I have learnt not to be absorbed by external turbulence so that I can remain strong and act from a place of understanding, compassion, and integrity.

3. Avoid giving advice or insisting on being right. We all notice people who are quick to offer advice (rescuer mode) or claim they hold the truth about issues (dominant mode). Both are forms of abuse! They immediately position us as victims, preventing us from finding our own solutions and making us feel powerless.

So, let’s speak only from our own experience, and likewise demand that our unique life experience be respected.

At the gym yesterday, everyone was giving me advice as I was new. However, my training story, along with my physical typology and breathing style, is very different from anyone else’s. I need to adapt my effort and breathing to my own needs and strengths!

4. Take responsibility. Worthlessness can lead to a loss of responsibility and inaction, as we believe we cannot cope with life or even thrive.

However, every creature of God, regardless of how small she is, is intrinsically talented for life. Responsibility is the capacity to respond to challenges, and it is innate. We are never victims; instead, we are co-creators.

So, how do we exercise this response-ability?

My partner told me recently, when I was in a moment of depression, ‘Stop being so preoccupied with yourself!’ I snapped out of my stalemate immediately and instead focused on my next small action towards my big goals.

We dream and set our intentions, then we trust ourselves and take action. The universal intelligence moves us in a flow, and life around us takes care of itself!

5. Know you are inseparable from your Soul. Just as the wave remembers it is part of the ocean, we need to shift our perception of separation.

We can embody this truth when we heal the pain and trauma that caused the disconnection and choose to trust.

Our power is engaged only when in alignment with our Soul. We all have experienced this in some way: when something is important and meaningful to us, we have all the energy, passion, and stamina to pursue it. Soul power supports life and promotes harmony, love, and well-being within ourselves and others..

An affirmation for you: I am filled with Soul Power.